Are You a Mutant Alien From another PLanet?
by Lady Manson
Summary: The easiest way to traumatize a soul does not require to even speak.


Here's a little something… I don't own Soul Calibur…. AND I AM FINE WITH IT! Weeps 

-Based on SC2-

Are you a Mutant Alien from Another Planet?

Nightmare was bored as hell waiting for his fight to begin, so he walked to the lounge were everyone was waiting. Talim was using his laptop and now she was hi-jacked from it by Kilik.

"Give me My computer back… I need to check my e-mail…" Nightmare said grabbing the laptop from Kilik and sitting down with it on a chair. All the guys looked at him as he opened his mail account.

"What's up with the name wickedangel666… Nightmare….?" Asked Cassandra receiving a straight look.

"Don't be so nosy bread girl…" He said as she frowned.

"I am not a bread girl…" She replied.

"Your father is a baker, right?" Nightmare asked as he checked his e-mails.

"So…" She answered as she looked at him.

"I rest my case…- he said while opening another e-mail…- Are you a mutant alien from another planet? What the fuck…- Nightmare clicked on the link. A quiz appeared.- Ah, this is a quiz…. I am going to make it…" He said as he was watched by the rest of the souls.

"Are you a mutant alien from another planet? –he read from the e-mail -Are you a mutant alien from another planet? I think it is time for you to find out..." Nightmare read the heading of the quiz as Kilik sat beside him.

"I support Ziggy's alienhood…" He joyfully supported with a huge smile as, Nightmare sighed and started reading the questions out loud.

"Question 1: Are your feet unusually big? – He read…. And looked at his feet. – My feet are not big… I guess…." He said as he looked at Mitsurugi laughing in a corner.

"I remember when you were a child… and damn you had big feet…." Mitsurugi remarked as Cervantes also laughed.

"But now they are not…" He defended himself while showing them his… normal feet. Kilik raised his leg and compared his feet with Nightmare's.

"They are bigger than mine anyways…." Kilik said as he looked at Nightmare blush.

"They are NOT big…- So he read the answers out loud.-Not at this point in time..., cries WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT MY FEET, Yes indeedy! They're massive, No! My feet are beautifully small and delicate!" After reading them Nightmare picked the first one.

"Question 2: How many eyes do you have?" He raised his sight to see now Cervantes chuckling his buccaneer ass out. He looked at his face, he had two eyes.

"Let's see… with the one in the chest makes three… and this other one makes four… and the ones in the biceps…." Kilik counted as he looked at Nightmare while Cassandra looked more than annoyed at him.

"God damn it, who comes up with these stupid questions?- Nightmare asked and then read out loud the answers.- 2, Why must you ask me these disturbing questions... ,I don't wanna talk about my eyes...shhhh... , 5" So, he marked number 2 and kept reading

"Question 3: What colour is your face? That's simple… my face is the colour of skin…last time I checked…" He said as now Talim brought him a mirror and he had a huge bruise on his face due to one of Astaroth's 'chest-rams' and his face looked half green.

"Ah…. How many questions this quiz has? It is disturbing…- Once again he read the answers - Please, just stop with these questions...I don't want you to know, Bright green, and proud of it, My face has perfectly human colour, thank you very much, Mommy I'm scared..." He marked the first one. Inside his head he was hating the moment he decided to open the stupid quiz in front of everyone and also his curiosity for random Forwards within his e-mail account.

"Question 4: Do you constantly wish to be on another planet?- He looked up as the other fighters looked at him.- Why would I?" He asked as Ivy folded her arms over her chest.

"We don't know Sieg… you tell us…. You often say you don't belong…" She began.

"That doesn't mean I am an alien…" He argued back.

"You are an alien Ziggy…." Cassandra said as Taki laughed quite loudly, people loved to get on the nerves of the poor blonde.

"SHUT UP BREAD GIRL… I AM FROM EARTH AND THIS STUPID QUESTION MEANS NOTHING… EARTH IS PERFECT…. PERFECT LIKE SEX…- He yelled and after taking a deep breath he read the answers. - All the time! The Earth is so not my home, Earth is my one and only home., WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME! I LIKE EARTH! EARTH IS GOOD, OKAY, Maybe...maybe not..." So, with a sigh, he marked the third one… Everyone was chuckling… there was no better time to have than seeing Nightmare tormented to his bones. As a matter of fact there was no better time to have than watching Nightmare tormented to his bone with a stupid random quiz.

"Question 5: What language do you speak? English of course…" He said as he was going to check the answers.

"But what about all those mumblings you say and we don't understand Mr. Nightmare? Which by the way sounds like you were plotting for world domination." Talim asked sitting beside Ivy.

"Yeah… what about that?" Xianghua asked

"That's German you asshole…." He said getting very worked up.

"Suuuuure…. That's what the Aliens call it…" Maxi said as Nightmare once again got very mad.

"It's not ALIEN…. IT'S GERMAN…. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DEAL WITH THE ALIENS….?- And the answers? - STOP TALKING ABOUT ALIENS, roiiigopp...I mean yeah. I speak...English and Spanish... , The language of my country, here on Earth, of course , Akkk oiiihh kdjknm eddiuopllu" Nightmare ran a hand through his hair and after taking a deep breath he chose the fist one. He was better off without any kind of technology.

"Question 6: What pet do you own?" He read and was going to mark one.

"Did you take your bats to walk this morning Ziggy?" Kilik asked him.

"What bats?" Nightmare asked as he left once again the laptop to get annoyed by Kilik.

"Your bats from Jupiter…" Kilik answered.

"I don't have bats as pets… I don't have pets…" Nightmare said as he looked at Kilik.

"And all the bat Chow you have in your locker?" Raphael asked as the demon Kinght squeezed a fist.

"I don't have pets! Why would I wanna have bats as pets"

"How are we supposed to know? Maybe Bats are your 'Familiars' like Dracula…" Raphael remarked. Siegfried/Nightmare simply decided to read the answers.

"A slimy, green slug-like being I found on Uranus…- Chuckles all around for Uranus.-Slimy toads...yesss...slimy toads..., No pets...no pets...no pets...no pets... , Oh a couple of cats and a dog... " So he chose the third one.

"Question 7: Do you know the names of all planets in the Solar System, and how they align?" He read and looked at everyone.

"Do you?" Asked Taki. Nightmare scratched the back of his head.

"Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto…. Why?" He said and everyone looked at him with a raised brow.

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN I AM AN ALIEN… I AM STARTING TO HATE ALIENS…- Nightmare said and ignoring them he read the answers.- Yes. But I'm no alien. Just...well informed..., Yes, and beyond, -runs around in circles- Please...I don't like aliens...STOP IT, Not at all. I am only concerned with one planet. Named Earth." He sighed loudly and due to his outburst, Kilik marked the third one.

"Question 8: What do you think of humans?" He read and once again felt the pinning glances of his work partners.

"What do you think of us…?" Yoshimitsu asked. In those moments Inferno took over Nightmare for a second.

"PATHETIC HUMAN I WILL TAKE YOUR SOUL…" And after giving the peace sign, Inferno left Nightmare alone and left the souls amazed.

"I will pick it for you Ziggy…- Kilik said as he read the answers out loud.- Humans. Are okay. I mean, yes. Okay. Shhh., Humans...humans good...humans, Humans? They are great! But what a strange question...everyone loves humans, oaskkjiookk boogdk. I WANT TO KILL THEM ALL!" Kilik clicked in the fourth one as he heard everyone laughing their asses out. Nightmare was getting very depressed by the quiz's questions, he was starting to hate aliens, quizzes, the internet, humans and all of the above combined. He read the next one after a while.

"Question 9: Jelly..." he looked at everyone. He didn't know what Jelly was.

"Jelly?" Asked Talim… she was more than sure the question had more… Nightmare looked at them expecting for a quote. If he said he didn't know what Jelly was, well, they were going to say he was an alien.

"Ja… Jelly…-Nightmare said as he read the answers out loud.- Huh? Jelly? Oooh yes right...jelly..., What is this "jelly" you speak of, Jelly? Oh it's a perfectly human food, Jelly...not aliens...jelly..." Since at least the question wasn't related to aliens… he picked the forth one and proceeded to the last one. Besides he was not sure of the precedence of such a thing as it was Jelly, what the hell is Jelly anyways?

"Question 10: Do you think you are an alien?- He squeezed a fist….- I don't…"

"But you are not Human Ziggy…" Kilik said.

"I am…" Nightmare replied.

"You are not…humans don't have demonic arms…" Cassandra said.

"I am not human… I mean I am…. I am not an Alien…. I AM NOT! I AM HUMAN I AM HUMAN…. HUMAN… This is just make up for work."

"So you use Make up? You are a cross-dressing Alien?" Asked Yunsung quite relaxed.

"I am not a CROSS DRESSER." Nightmare screamed in rage.

"So you are an Alien then, but not a Cross Dresser?" Ivy asked.

"GODDAMN IT I AM NOT AN ALIEN.-He yelled and decided to read the answers for the last question. - YES...YESSSSS, Aliens...humans...aliens...humans...-cries, No..yes...maybe... , NO! I'M SOOOO HUMAN!" Nightmare clicked in the fourth one and clicked the button to get his results, he was done with the quiz and with the Aliens and he was going to prove them once and for all that he was not a god forsaken alien. As the page loaded Nightmare began to cry and tossing the laptop aside he started to hug his legs and assume the fetal position.

"What did he get, Rod boy?" Yunsung asked as Kilik grabbed the laptop.

"It says…. With your 78 you are SUCH AN ALIEN… We hope you get to go back to your home planet and enjoy it. By the way…. Jelly is a fruit!"

"I am not an Alien… Not an alien…. Not an alien…" And Nightmare left the room crying like a child.

"Poor Mr. Nightmare…. He's an alien…" Talim said shaking her head in denial.

"A cross dressing alien don't forget the Make up part…. I wonder what is the real colour of his skin?" Raph said chuckling a bit.As all the souls left, Charade was 'twitching' in pain in a corner. He got even with Nightmare… it was payback time for Charade.

Thanks for reading. Just a little thing I thought you might enjoy… Toodles


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